Self-love and self-esteem

27 Jan, 2015 Personal Development

Self-love and self-esteem are closely bonded to each other. When you don’t believe in your abilities, your value or your worth, your mind cannot respond in the opposite way. Your mind will go in the direction of your dominant thoughts. If you don’t feel good enough, you will likely live a life to confirm these beliefs.

If I asked you to list ten positive qualities about yourself, could you list all ten immediately? Or, would you get stuck after the third or fourth one? What if, on the other hand, I asked you to list ten of your worst qualities, or things you don’t like about yourself; do you think you could complete that list much faster? The fact is, most of us focus on what’s “wrong with us” rather than what’s “right about us.”

People who try to be the center of attention can sometimes have the lowest self-esteem. Because they need to feel accepted by others,they’re willing to forego their own self-acceptance. This is a heavy price to pay. Ultimately we learn that if we live to please others,there’s no way to be true to who we really are.

People with high self-esteem generally don’t feel the need to impress others or gain their approval. They feel okay just the way they are.Those who struggle with low self-esteem and low self-worth also have the “not good enough” syndrome. They fear they won’t be accepted by others because they don’t qualify, so they spend most of their energy figuring out what other people want them to be. Then they try to become that type of person.

If they think they can only be accepted when they’re friendly or happy, then they do everything possible to make sure everyone knows how happy they are. You’ll never find these people complaining or admitting how they really feel. It’s always “Great!” “Wonderful!” “Couldn’t be better!” Wearing a mask is very strenuous; there’s always the chance of being found out, and eventually that’s what happens.

When we’re not on our best behavior or guarding our emotions, the transparency leaks through. You may know someone who seems to be good-natured all the time. He’s the kind of person you like to be around because he always has a positive attitude. Then one day you learn that he’s taken his life, or in a rage, he’s injured or killed others.

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